The following are some of the winners in contest in which the rules were: take ANY well-known phrase in ANY foreign language, change JUST ONE SINGLE LETTER, and then provide a definition for the new expression. (Thank you very much, princess!)
HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS? Can you drive a French motorcycle?
IDIOS AMIGOS. We are two wild and crazy guys from south of the border.
COGITO, EGGO SUM. I think, therefore I am a waffle.
RIGOR MORRIS. The cat is dead.
REPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID. Honk if you're Scottish.
QUE SERA SERF. Life is feudal.
LE ROI EST MORT, JIVE LE ROI. The king is dead. No kidding.
POSH MORTEM. Death styles of the rich and famous.
VENI, VIPI, VICI. I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered.
PRO BOZO PUBLICO. Support your local clown.
MONAGE A TROIS. I am three years old.
FELIX NAVIDAD. Our cat has a boat.
HASTE CUISINE. Fast French food.
VENI, VIDI, VICE. I came, I saw, I partied.
QUIP PRO QUO. A fast retort.
ALOHA OY. Love; greetings, farewell; from such a pain you should never know.
MAZEL TON. Tons of good luck.
APRES MOE LE DELUGE. Curly and Larry got wet.
PORT-KOCHERE. Sacramental wine.
VENI, RIDI, VICI: I came, they made fun of me, I conquered.
MEA PULPA: I'm the preacher around here.
QUI SERA SERA: Let the best man win.
POSH PARTUM: Ta ta, daaahling.
SAVOIR FAIRY: That moment when you realize the Tooth Fairy is your dad.
MENACE A TROIS: Dennis just after the terrible twos.
DE FICTO: We made that up.
DE FARTO: Everyone's getting off the elevator at the next floor.
LAISSEZ CAIRE: Exiting Egypt.
CINCO DE MANO: I have five fingers.
COUR D'ETAT: The capitol.
SOUP D'ETAT: Heck, if we have a national anthem, why not a national soup?
Missing letters
Some very familiar terms can take on a totally new meaning if just one letter is omitted. Here are a couple for starters. Got any you want to contribute?
United States Pot Office
Sexy late underwear
Double-hinged widows
Shopping cats
Halogen laps
Speedbats
The Golden Gate Bride
The Holy Bile
Capital gods exports
Piano rectal
This was nominated best email of 1997. It is a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room service at a hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees."
Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: "Rye. Ruin sorbees . morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den - fry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem - crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine"
RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?""
RS: "San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes'
means."
RS: "Toes! toes! . Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an
English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No. just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?" Wad?"
G: "I mean butter - just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy . tea . mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy . rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G: "You're welcome"
